Did I forget my pants?

Have you ever had that dream where you're in front of a large group of people and you suddenly realize you're naked? Ya know, in the middle of accepting an award or giving a speech or something and you look down and realize you're wearing a freshly dry cleaned birthday suit? Well I haven't ;) ..... but I sure do know the feeling.

There are not too many foreigners in Beibei. And now that the 60 some study abroad students have gone back to their universities in the states, I believe there are a grand total of 3 blondes on this 50,000+ campus. So I stand out. This means stares.....from EVERYONE. When I first got here everything was so new and different, so I too was doing a lot of staring. Then when things got familiar it became a little unnerving. What? Did I miss a button? Did I forget to put on pants? Is there rice in my hair!? No....it's just blonde. And I'm white, and tall, and have hips, and everything else that's not Chinese. Naked in an auditorium.

So then I got used to the stares. It was just a part of everyday life, as usual as me not being able to read any street signs or menus. But now that Beibei really feels like my home for this year, I'd like to feel like I belong, or at least blend in a little. But I know physically that will never happen. So I'll stick to the things that can make me feel like a native. Like going to my favorite restaurant and knowing exactly where on the menu kung pao chicken is, or just ask me where anything is in the grocery store, I could tell you! I know which buses take me where and I know which rooms in the music building have the better pianos. I will never look Chinese. I may never speak it, or fully understand it. But everyday I learn something new, and that's all I can really ask for....so I'll take it!